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Dear Space Monkey, June 1, 2009

Posted by Umph in Random.
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Dear Space Monkey,

         Hi monkey! You’re in space, I heard! What’s it like in a rocket? How do you breathe? Do you eat toothpaste for dinner? When you go to the bathroom, do you press a button and your poop flies out the poop-shooter and into space? Tell me, I’ve never been in a rocket before! Except this one time, where my uncle let me aboard his space craft. It was cool! I told my uncle that he should have worn his space helmet, but he didn’t, and he turned all blue and started making sounds like he was swallowing a tennis ball. Did you pack bananas? I want some. But don’t eat too much potassium at once, I heard that if you do, you’ll blow-up and the the bite-size pieces of you will land in France. Don’t ask where I heard that, because it’s top secret. I want to go to space-camp to learn how to go into space. I already know that you have to be smart, and I am. 2+2=4. 4=4+8. 8+8=16. 16+16=32. 32+32=64. 64+64=128. 128+128=264. 264+264=528. 528+528=1056. See? And I also know that you need to be a primate to go in space. Humans are primates. Humans+primate=monkey…I think. Monkey+bear=Bintoroung. Banana+tree=banana tree. Banana tree+me=6. See? I’m pretty darn smart. I can name all the 50 states in alphabetical order.

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Pennsylvania Rode Island South Carolina South Dakota Texas Washington Wisconsin Wyoming

See? I’m smart! Uh-oh, my pencil is getting dull. Bye monkey!

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Comments»

1. brry3321 - June 2, 2009

Hope you are writing to a real Space Monkey! If so,coud you ask him if that if you can be more likely to be bitten by a mosqito if you have recently eaten a banana?

2. tulipisbffwithemily - June 4, 2009

You missed Oregon, Utah, Vermont, and Virginia while naming the fift states Umph.


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