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Dear Fat Stuffed Dolphin August 17, 2009

Posted by Umph in Uncategorized.

You are a fat stuffed dolphin. But I still value you. Not as a person, but as a fat stuffed dolphin. You did not cause me to claw myself as I jumped into my uncles pool. You did not cause me to get water up my nose attempting to do a flip, or smashing my leg on the edge of the pool as I fell in. You did not cause me to stub my toe on the fire pit. You are just a fat stuffed dolphin. Amuse me. Now.

Oh uh, hi guys. I was um, talking to a fat stuffed dolphin on my floor. I’m not crazy. Just hopelessly confused 😆 Now I’ll interview my desk lamp. Okay desk lamp, why do you want me to give you a raise. Mhm, I see. Well I cannot at the moment. What? No, I’m not firing you. I understand that you have a wife and three light bulbs, yes. No. I’m not suggesting that you leave, I’m just saying-Okay. Okay, fine. Have it your way. No. I don’t care if you need more adventure in your life! Your a desk lamp, desk lamps aren’t supposed to have fun!  Really? You want me to believe that your brother-in-law is a Miami Beach Life Guard? That’s impossible! Okay, I will. Not now, no. Leave me alone. Get out of my office. Don’t make me call human rescources. I don’t care if you’re not a human, he will kick your bottom!

Hehe 😆 And that’s all for now.



1. ~>Raz0rEdge - August 17, 2009

wow…once I had an interview with my TV…but that’s personal stuff…
Umph Replies: 😆

2. Haleylauren - August 17, 2009

I saw this graphic once that said something like yes, I do throw things at the tv, yell at my hairbrush, and talk to my stuffed animals. Got a problem?

3. Madz - August 17, 2009

LOL! I want a fat stuffed dolphin. 😆 jk

4. Lyon - August 18, 2009

Hey! If you don’t know me I am Lyon from Lyon’s Life. I also formerly worked on Ilan’s blog. Anyways I don’t know if you knew, but I opened a new graphics blog. It’s a whole lot better then my old one. It is http://lyonshore.wordpress.com. I’d really appreciate if you visited it and could possibly spread the word about it. Thanks!

P.S. Sorry for advertising on your blog. I am just trying to spread the word

5. Allison :] - August 18, 2009

Hiya umph hey where did you get your gravatar? I’ve seen a few of thoose lately
Umph Replies: Yeah, it took me like, 2 weeks to get a straight answer. Here’s the link. http://www.miniclip.com/players/en/create-your-yome.php

6. Sssaam - August 18, 2009

Haha you’re so funny! Now please excuse me, I have to go interrogate the soap dispenser.

Umph Replies: ROFLMFAO!

7. Allison :] - August 19, 2009

Thanks Umph!

8. ▓Raz0rEdge▓ - August 19, 2009

wow…this post is inspiering everybody to talk to objects like lamps…toothbrushes…. I got in a fight with a ball at Wal*Mart today, for example.

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