Dear Fat Stuffed Dolphin

You are a fat stuffed dolphin. But I still value you. Not as a person, but as a fat stuffed dolphin. You did not cause me to claw myself as I jumped into my uncles pool. You did not cause me to get water up my nose attempting to do a flip, or smashing my leg on the edge of the pool as I fell in. You did not cause me to stub my toe on the fire pit. You are just a fat stuffed dolphin. Amuse me. Now.

Oh uh, hi guys. I was um, talking to a fat stuffed dolphin on my floor. I’m not crazy. Just hopelessly confused 😆 Now I’ll interview my desk lamp. Okay desk lamp, why do you want me to give you a raise. Mhm, I see. Well I cannot at the moment. What? No, I’m not firing you. I understand that you have a wife and three light bulbs, yes. No. I’m not suggesting that you leave, I’m just saying-Okay. Okay, fine. Have it your way. No. I don’t care if you need more adventure in your life! Your a desk lamp, desk lamps aren’t supposed to have fun!  Really? You want me to believe that your brother-in-law is a Miami Beach Life Guard? That’s impossible! Okay, I will. Not now, no. Leave me alone. Get out of my office. Don’t make me call human rescources. I don’t care if you’re not a human, he will kick your bottom!

Hehe 😆 And that’s all for now.