Trapped in the bedroom July 14, 2010Posted by Umph in Day summaries, Funny.
Tags: fake, Funny, graphic, hostage, joke, pee, story
Warning: The following is a dramatization of true events. Be warned that some of this may be frightening to younger viewers as the imagery is graphic.
Hello, viewers. It’s currently 12:30. About half an hour ago, I went through a difficult ordeal. I was being held hostage. By…my baby sister. See, I was minding my own buisness, just using my computer. When my sister enters the room. Slam. The doors are closed, my fate is sealed.
I looked over to see my open closet door clicked together with my half-open front door. My heart was racing as I sprang for the door. I wrapped my fingers around the knob and yanked. It was stuck! ”Addy!” I cried. That’s when Addy whacked me with a lamp and it all went dark…
I awoke five minutes later and I was hand-cuffed to a chair. A glazed look in her eyes indicated how fierce she was feeling. She snarled, ”where is it?” ”Where is what?” I asked.
”The amulate.” She paced back and forth. ”Exuse me, I have to pee.” My sister walked for the door, only to realize it was stuck. Then, she scooted a towel over and peed on that. Gross.
Finally, after minutes of intense interrogation, my brother heard my cries of terror. He busted in the door and arrested Addy, and I was safe!
Okay, so that did really happen. Maybe not the part with the lamp and the handcuffs, but we were locked in and Addy did pee on a towel. My brother also had to run and bust open the door! Sayonara now.
Swamp Cabin 2 coming soon! June 5, 2009Posted by Umph in Poetry and stories.
Tags: Sequal, story, Swamp Cabin
Guess what? I’m working on a sequel to our story of the month, Swamp Cabin. If you haven’t read it, click HERE. Here’s a preview of the sequel…
I woke up in a daze. I was exhausted and didn’t have the power to stand or sit. After several deep inhales, I gathered my strength and pulled myself onto my scabbed knees, bonking my head on the tent. Everything was A-OK so far. My backpack was at the end of my sleeping bag and Tyler was knocked out beside me, clutching his blanket. I yawned and looked at my wrist watch. It was 1:55 am. All of a sudden I was a little worried about being in a tent in the middle of the woods at one in the morning. Then I became more worried. The color faded from my flushed face as I realized that my dog wasn’t beside me. I grabbed my backpack, jumped up, pushed out of the tent and ran…
Like it so far? Gimme some feedback!
Tags: Cam, My life, story
First off, SCHOOL. Yep school was OK today. In chorus, it kinda sucked cause’ I was one of the only ones singing on our side. My friend, Ana, was singing pretty loud, too, but our voices were still drowned out by Mean Dumb & Dopey, AKA Andrew. Next I finally got together with my dream boy. Ana, you know it, so shut up lolz! But I’m not telling you who that is. Cough Cough Cam Cough cough. Man! I got a frog in my throat! Then we had gym, it was nice so we went outside to the field and playground. I played a game of dodge-ball with my ”boy pals”. Men-haha. But the funniest thing was when me and Cam started chasing Mean Dumb & Dopey with footballs. He kept trash talking us, so I NAILED him in the face as he came down the slide! At the end of the day, Cam made a bet w/the teacher. If only you could understand how hyper yet hilarious he is. Cam’s always hopping around and talking out and being hysterical. I’m the goody two shoes class clown, he’s the not so goody two shoes class clown. So Ms. ******* bet Cam, who just a big part in the class play, that if he kept his part until we preformed, she would give him 5 homework passes. If he lost it, he would lose recess for the rest of the year! OMG! The worst part is, I lost Cam for 9 days 😦 He’s acting all robotic and exaggerating his goody two shoe-ness. I asked him, ”Cam what’s up?” He goes, ”I am only supposed to speak when require or needed.” Oh well, he’s a jokester, he’ll snap out of it. Now, I’m writing a ”girl book” called The Lee Tess Diaries. Girls out there my like it, so soon I’ll post an excerpt. The story also teaches you lessons on respect, self-asteem and being yourself.
Mission Un-Possible February 19, 2009Posted by Umph in Random.
Tags: Mission, story
Hola ¿como estas? No, never mind. This is serious buisness. So look, here’s the problem:
- I was skipping merrily to the park, humming, minding my own business, right? When outta seemingly no where, a flying squirrel breaks through the trees and attacks me! It was awful! So later, I go home and the lights are off. Nothing electronic was working. Except for a lamp on my bed stand. There was a note. It was made of cut-outs from a magazine, and here’s what it said: Dear Emma, This is a ransom. We have your parents. If you want them back, meet me in the alley at 8:00, alone. -Anyonomus. I gasped. So at eight, I went to the alley. And there was that stupid flying squirrel and his mobster buddies. My parents were tied up. I made a seemingly fair trade, I gave the squirel a bag contaning the following: A large diet pepsi, a double beef burrito and a Gordida Crunch from Taco Bell. But he took my parents and the food, and I was left standing in the dark.
So your mission is to track this flying squirel idiot guy and help me find my parents. He is small, grayish, has a small wingspand and is very, very smelly. Thank you agent. Hope you can find my parents…and my Gordida Crunch…